Saturday, July 26, 2008
It's not a Perfect World
On this beautiful Sunday morning - my mind went wondering about the Perfect World. Don't you think that we as a normal human being are always in search for everything perfect?
We look for the perfect life, a perfect job, a perfect partner and it's strange that how much we tell ourselves that we are not looking for everything perfect but subconsciously we do. Why do we as human beings look for everything perfect. But have we asked that one question - is anything or everything Perfect? Can we make do without looking for Perfect? What is the objective for looking for Perfect? Is it to satisfy others or is it to satisfy our own need?
To me - my life has never been perfect. Life to me is like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it goes up and sometimes it's down and stay down. The more I look for Perfect the more I attract the opposite so after too many mistakes in life - I am going to settle for what I have. Life used to be complicated but right now I am working on trying to uncomplicate my life. And look for less Perfect things in life.
Life now is abit easier and liveable. I take life one day at a time. You must be wondering how I do it? Well - it's easy. Surrender your life to the Lord and let HIM take control . They say - God's time is the best time. I learned that when you think that God is not there - HE is actually there. God will never abandon HIS children - we HIS children abandon HIM when we are going thru good time and went bad time hits us - we scrabble looking for HIM. Why? Because we let the materialistic Perfect world run our life. Take control of life and let God guide us. He has planned for us.
Never forget in your daily prayers to God - ask HIM for his blessing and provisions. Our God is a Willing God, He is a Wealthy God and He is a Wise God. Do not seek God only when you are in trouble. Look for God in good times and bad times.
Pray not for ourself but pray also for others - your love ones, your families, your friends and for your enemy. You will be wondering why we should pray for our enemies - right? Our enemies are also children of God - they too need the blessing and salvation from God. There must be a reason why they became the enemy. Find it in your heart to forgive your enemies. I know it's not easy to forgive someone. That's what I thought too.
I have come before God to give me the strength to forgive my enemies. Before I did that - I feel that I was in a prison. I was locked in my cell - and wanting so hard to escape. I spend so many years of life planning for a prison break. Not knowing that it was so easy to break myself from the prison I was trapped in for many years. All I have to do is to come before God and ask HIM for the strength to break away and forgive my enemies.
Does this sound like a testimony of God's wonderful work on changing my complicated life to a uncomplicated life? Maybe it is. But I am for sure will do whatever I can to change my life from what it was before to a life that is approve by God. I want to be happy and now I will do anything it takes to regain back the happiness that I used to have before my late dad passed away.
God is LOVE
(Mathew 21:22 - if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayers).
written on July 27,08
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Saturday, July 05, 2008
July 6, 2008Relationship or they say being in love is HARD WORK!!!
Why do I say being in a relationship or being in love is hard work. I feel that it is a full time - mind boggling part of your life that you want to make sure that everything goes well. And sometimes when the harder you try to avoid making the same mistakes - the most avoidable things happen. So tell me - isn't that hard work?
You may have read many of those self help book on relationship, finding your prince charming and etc. Finding a man to fall in love is easy. But finding the right man is like quest and keeping him is another thing.
People always ask me why at this age of mine - I'm nearing my big 40 that I still have not settle down with my Mr Right? It's a question I always drag being ask. Ask me about anything else but don't ask me about my complicated love life.
Since I have not been successful in looking for Mr Right. I have decided to look for Mr Left. Crazy huh? Think again. If you think looking for Mr Right tough - looking for Mr Left is tougher. The reason why looking for Mr Left i tougher in my books that's because you have to accept Mr Left for what he is...
Definition of Mr Left? Mr Left is just the opposite of Mr Right. He is not the ideal man to some ladies but he is after all a man.
Mr Left is never a perfectionist and he can be a stubborn bloke too!!! When I was going up like many other ladies in my age group - wants a man who is tall dark and handsome. And to some extend we would want him to have everything. But after my years of searching and going thru too many unnecessary headaches, pain, sleepless night and waking up to puffy eyes the next day - I HAD ENOUGH!!!
Therefore as my age nearing to the big leap of 40 - I have settle that I am contend to be with
Mr Left. So what - he is not perfect and so what if he is not 6'2 tall. I am happy to say that I have found myself Mr Left. Finding Mr Left was not an easy task. I had to go thru many "battleground" before I found him. We started as a mutual friends. It wasn't those love at first sight (that's probably happen when you meet Mr Right!!!) it was just a normal hook up.
As time passes by - the feeling Mr Left grew deeper. I for once thought that I will not fall in love again after I walk out from Mr Right (you must be wondering - what's wrong with her???). We fought often and argue . I guess you really learned about a person thru self is when you both go thru difficult times together.
That's exactly what happen! As months passes by - so does the problems and challengers that was thrown to us got deeper. At times during quiet time with God - I asked him... God - if he is the right man for me - why are you not blessing me with joy and happiness of being in love. Why are we always faced with challengers that tested our faith in You and in us. Well I'm happy to say that till date I am still Mr Left and nothing has change. And you know what even at times I told him that I had enough - I knew deep down that I love Mr Left with all my heart and soul and I will not pass up Mr Left even Mr Right passes me by....
That's is what we call being in a relationship. It is like being in a relationship with God. He loves us his children for what we are. Forgiving our sins even before we asked for forgiveness. He loves us unconditionally and should never forget HIM. He is our FATHER and without him - life is meaningless.
Even if you passes by Mr Right and Mr Left - you will never ever pass by God!
God is love - Vivian
Vittoria juz left the building<33
July 6, 2008
Life as it is.... sometimes complicated and sometimes just strange.
I hit my turning point in my life after my last trip to Europe in 2007. I haven't seen my dad's family for about 5 years and things do change after sometime. My favourite uncle and aunts are still the same - super fantastic people who are just themselves in their own unique and lovable ways. I love my dad's families to the core especially my uncle Bob who to me is just like my late dad.
In this journey - I met several very close friends whom I have known for some years but was meeting for the first time. Close friends like Cliff, Ade and Chris are close to my heart. Cliff is like my dad - so I call him Papa. I have known him like 10 years. He know me like I say inside and outside. He knows my joy and also my saddness. Thou he was a thousand miles away - he always find time to spend some quality time and hear me out when I have no one else to pour my feelings out whether it was a feeling of joy, saddness or disappointment. He means the world to me as my Papa. A place where I can seek comfort...
Ade and Chris are my closest friends that I have. Ade in his own crazy and weird way makes you feel so at home. I was recovering from my lung infection when I went over to his place in Ilford for a couple of days. I was smoothered with attention and boy was I overwhelmed by his hospitality. He makes sure that I finish the freshly blended juice that he makes and he makes me drink 2 big glass. I was already filled with the juice - let alone the breakfast I needed to take infront of him. Maybe Ade was my God dad trapped in this 20's something body.
As for Chris, he is just a sweetheart. I spent with him the longest during my entire trip. Gent is a beautiful place in Autumn - thou it was so cold both during the day and night - I feel always warm in the Chris's house probably because either the window close or the heater is on. I spent quiet times in the morning while Chris goes for his classes. So I just spend my time to catch on my reading and walk to the nearest park and supermarket. The supermarket which became my hangout joint for 1.5 weeks whilst I was in Gent.
There was so many things to see, try and buy. And I somehow always surprise Chris with my cookings. What I enjoy the most was the quality time we spent either debating on the world politics or about me having more African culture then he is African. Especially on how I make my coffee and how much I pour my coffee into my coffee cup. I lile to fill it up to the brim which to Chris is a typical African way...hahahahaaa. I always laugh and answer back to Chris and says - Chris - I'm more African then you are - you are too westinerized.
Above are some recollections of my memories as to when I was in Europe last year.
Memories are a treasure of a lifetime - never to be forgotten
God is Love - Vivian
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Dec 11, 2006
Love knows no boundaries....
Love knows no colour......
My heart now belongs to someone special - he may be far but he is in my heart. I love him for what he is. He may be tough, stubborn, domineering but he is the one I love.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder and I believe it's true. But it also test your faith. I may have failed in that test but I hope in time - my faithfulness will be stronger as my love for him grows deeper.
My love - I am sorry if I hurt you but know that I have never once stop loving you - never have and never will.
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Sunday, October 09, 2005
If you are into good music, check out Anthony Hamilton latest CD...Soullife. Check out the 1st song - I used to love someone.This is a good music especially if you are doing a reflection on your life. Falling in love and falling out of love is such a common thing - everyone of from all ages does it and why should I be different...right? Being a Libran...it seem we strive in falling in love! . Strange? Naah... it's just something we do and we do it well. Kudos to all Librans...
But the thing is now, I want to fall in love and stay in love with the same person forever! And never ever get bored with looking at him day in and day out. Maybe I can do that once I lower down my high expectation on the person. I think - I maybe wrong with my silly theory, the reason I keep falling in love and falling out of love is because I set such a high expectation on the person and when he falls short - I freak out and walk away. Whether I hurt the person in the process...I won't know cause I don't stay long enough to find out!
Now analyze this and tell me whether I am the one with the problem or the other person is to be blame.
Well I'm outta here to enjoy the rest of my beautiful Sunday.
Remain blesss
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
May 21, 2006In search of happiness.... When does it all begins? I guess it begins when the day you are being born. I reckon for the first 365 days of your life - you are happy. Especially after mom change your diapers. You feel dry and clean......
Childhood time are sometimes filled with happiness or saddens. I had a happy childhood - full of love from all the people around me.
My happiness ended drastically 11 years ago - when one phone call said it all. I didn't believed it - how could it happen - the man I love and worshipped...Dead. He was my father - my mentor. The day he died - my life and my should died with him.
Since that day - I have struggled with my life. Bad things happen one after another - that tested my faith in God. Though I prayed and asked for answers - nothing came. What came my way was the toughest test that I barely survived. I almost ended my life - what life if its filled with disappointment, pain, sorrow and heart breaks.
Each new year - my prayers was for death. But God never grant me my wishes. I'm still here - still going thru all the pains and suffering.
I wished people stopped hurting me
I wished people stopped telling me lies
I wished people let me die....
Why make promises - only if you intend to break them
All I asked was to be loved....
All I want is the happiness that I lost 11 years ago
Why God... Cant I be happy
Why people says they love me - but hurt me in the end
Why, how and where did I go wrong
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
What is the affairs of the heart?
Is it the feelings of love or pain? I think it's something no one can really explain. Just last week some very close friends talk about love. One ask what is love and how one feels being in love? I ponder on this very sticky subject which sometimes make me wonder why love exist. Does love exist for a reason? Does love exist to cause pain? Why do people fall in love only to separate with their love ones.
Am I in love or am I in love because I want to be loved? Do you still be in love with a person who love you but also hurt you with little things that may mean nothing but some how hurts you? I seek the answer to this question in my life journey. Will I ever find the answer - only time will tell...
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Hi,
On this lovely Sunday afternoon, I 'm sitting behind my laptop working away. Some people may think that Viv's doesn't have a life....all she does is work and work. You know what - I think I do have a life - maybe different that most people in my age group. But hey, I have done all - and now I reach a stage in my life that I want to slow down with the booze, partying, men and etc - the things you do in your 20's and early 30's. Sounds crazy? Maybe! Well it's subject to individual interpretation... I'm just happy being ME!!!!
I had an interesting weekend last week. For the first time - I actually visited a musuem here in Singapore. Sometime that I do only when I'm abroad. I visited the Asian Civilisation Museum which houses the Asian Cultures. Interesting place and worth going back again. Check out this website http://www.nhb.gov.sg/ACM.
Couple of weeks back - I had an adventure at the Zoo, which I havent done for a long time. There was major changes in the zoo - the one that interest me alot is now they have a Ben & Jerry Icecream outlet - hurray! Help cool down your body after a 6 hours walk looking at animals. I will post of the pictures taken in my album soon - so look out for it.
Well, enough of this Arts and Animal thingy. Do take care you all and remain bless.
Lots of hugz en kisses
from Bloody Hot Singapore
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Hi ,
On today's paper I read a very interesting article. It's about a subject that is very close to my heart. It's about the famine in Africa. The numbers of people that are affected are by the millions. And not only one country that is affected by this but a total of nine countries - Niger, Ethopia, Eritrea, Mali, Sudan, Kenya,Mauritania, Burkina Faso and Zimbabwe.
The saddest part many of the victims are children... innocent children who don't have enough food and water. Hundreds or manybe thousand of children are dying daily because of malnutitions and diseases. Even when they are being rescued - they are too weak and their fragile body rejects even the slightest amount of food and water.
It pains me when I read such articles in the papers or see it on TV. What are the rich countries doing to help this countries. What are we as individual doing to help out. Are we just sitting in the comfort of our homes and wonder maybe about 5 minutes about the plight of this innocent children who are dying.
Often we complain of the food that we eat are not delicious and the variety are lacking but what about the children in Africa who don't have food at all. We often throw away excess food just because they have been cooked the day before. It sad because we take things for granted. It is even more sad to see this innocent children dying before our eyes.
I am no better then my fellow friends who takes things for granted. I often complain about how tough life is. But on the other hand I still have a shelter over my head and food on the table. I enjoy the luxury of life that an average African child can only dream about.
I have a wish that before I die that I am able to help the innocent children of Africa. In whatever means I can I want to put a smile on their faces.
Please God - give me the strength and the wisdom to fulfill my wish.
Remain bless in the arms of the Almighty
Viv
Vittoria juz left the building<33
Monday, August 08, 2005
Hi,
Today is like any other day except that its a holiday and I'm spending a quiet day at home and trying my hands on doing my very own blog. I have seen many blogs but have now gather some guts to do one for myself. I hope to be able to fill it in with my thoughts about the things that happening around me and to people around me. And hopefully be able to reflect on it as the journey of life continues in front of me.
Life to me is like a roller coaster - it goes up and down. We sometimes get sick of it but most times we learn to enjoy whatever comes. So get ready to share the life experience of me whose going to be 36 in a couple of months..... its going to be fun and exciting at the same time.
Remain Bless
Vitt in Singapore
Vittoria juz left the building<33
